Finding Comfort in Discomfort
In my work with Cuddlist, I seek to create an open and safe space for others. The client’s comfort is my focus at all times because a cuddling session requires both myself and my client to be present in the moment, without distractions. Comfort is also a way to navigate consent because consent is safely given only with the comfort of those involved. That is not to say that there will never be discomfort, but it is important to remember that discomfort, while unpleasant, is not inherently a negative thing. On the contrary, discomfort is a powerful tool once you know how to use it.
When we feel discomfort, it is almost always a signal to check in with ourselves and assess the situation. Sometimes, it is as straightforward as a headache, telling us to drink more water (or less caffeine). In this case, we can easily discern the remedy. However, it is not always so easy to interpret discomfort when it comes from our anxieties.
In my younger years, I saw discomfort as something to be avoided at all costs. I protected myself from that discomfort and backed away from situations that made me anxious. Over time, I got to wondering why I had missed out on so many experiences, why I could not seem to make any new friends, why I seemed to lack more and more confidence. I had to learn that in protecting myself from perceived harm, I also kept myself from opportunities of growth.
Discomfort is not just a way of avoiding harmful situations, it is also a sign that you are moving away from who you currently are and moving toward a you that is less familiar. This is the very essence of personal growth. It is a continual process of healthy discomfort, as one would feel accomplishing anything worthwhile. Becoming your best self means honoring those moments of anxiety and pushing through them to get to where you want to be. Learn to find comfort in your discomfort, and nothing can stop you.
If you would like to work on these skills, I can help! If you are not near me, check out Cuddlist to find a practitioner in your area.
Have fun, be safe!
